Life on Purpose returns for a Spring 2021 Season with Episode #97. My guest is writer, therapist, coach, and founder of the New York Voice Dialogue Institute Bridgit Dengel Gaspard, who joins me to talk about her new book, The Final 8th: Enlist Your Inner Selves to Accomplish Your Goals (New World Library) and powerful techniques she’s developed to help readers/listeners recognize and free themselves from hidden internal conflicts that are blocking their ability to achieve their goals.
It’s painful when we find ourselves stuck. It feels even worse when we are in sight of the finish line, yet we just can’t seem to cross it. Despite doing all the right things, we’re inexplicably unable to reach a long-held goal, whether it’s in our career, relationships, finances, creative life, or health.
Bridgit coined the term “the final 8th” to describe this phenomenon when talented, energetic, motivated individuals have accomplished many steps toward a goal (7/8 of it) but stall in front of their finish line, for no apparent reason.
In our inspirational conversation, Bridgit and I discussed:
- The origin story of the term The Final 8th via working with various clients who were getting stuck;
- Has she struggled with Final 8ths in her own life, including writing the book?
- “Is the reason you’re stuck because you’re not meant to go any further? It’s served it’s purpose.”;
- The idea that our healthy personality consists of many aspects, which she calls inner selves;
- Voice dialogue, a technique developed by her mentors Dr. Hall and Sidra Stone;
- “They each have wisdom and they have concerns. But they don’t have the whole picture.”;
- The fact that this is NOT multiple personality disorder or dissociative identity disorder;
- The effects of the pandemic on certain selves and what we can do about that;
- The fact that for most people, working harder isn’t the problem or the solution;
- The power of the questions, “What are the gifts? And what are the stings?”;
- A simple technique that allows you to start to identify these inner selves;
- How do these selves start? And where do they come from?;
- Her chapter on Practice Safe Success: a concept that is silly but real!;
- What is the Double Bind and why is it psychologically painful?;
- Her Final Takeaway: “Be curious to see what’s there; if in doubt, get rid of the agenda.”
- Her upcoming Final 8th 4-Week Masterclass, which runs in May;
- Marianne Williamson: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”;
- Much more!
“My clients were baffled about why they were stuck. They reported feeling frustrated, stressed, sad, and scared. They’d swear to me they yearned for the desired outcome with every fiber of their being,” says Bridgit. “I’d tell them, ‘Believe it or not, some of those fibers just aren’t with the program.’ The truth is, not every part of you wants what you think you want! Some of your inner selves are opposed to your goal.”
NOTE: I went through my own “final 8th” by not publishing this episode for several months after we recorded out chat. That happened for a variety of reasons that I’d like to keep private, but they do relate to the discussion we had about why people don’t finish things and how to finally get unstuck. 🙂
About Bridgit Dengel Gaspard:
Bridgit Dengel Gaspard is a writer, therapist, coach, and master facilitator and trainer of voice dialogue who has led professional workshops for the Omega Institute, the New York Open Center, the International Coach Federation, the Expressive Therapies Summit, Conscious Life Expo, New York University, Columbia University School of Social Work, the National Association of Social Work, the Actors Fund, and other organizations.
During her career in acting, improvisation, and comedy, she discovered voice dialogue, a powerful technique of communicating and embodying our inner selves developed by Drs. Hal and Sidra Stone, who would become her mentors.
Bridgit earned a master’s degree in social work from Columbia University, acquiring clinical experience in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT.) She was an inpatient social worker at Bellevue Hospital Center and Creedmoor Psychiatric Center. She also worked as a psychotherapist at the New York University Counseling Center.
She founded the New York Voice Dialogue Institute and has been certified by multiple organizations for continuing education credits for social workers, mental health practitioners, nurses, body workers, psychologists, nurses, psychiatrists, psychotherapists, massage therapists, and life coaches.
Bridgit maintains a private practice in Manhattan specializing in creativity blocks, life transitions, and being stuck in sight of the finish line. She lives in Brooklyn, New York.
To learn more about Bridgit and her work, visit: https://www.bridgit-dengel-gaspard.com.
About The Final 8th:
No one enjoys being stuck and the misery is amplified when we have accomplished multiple steps toward a cherished goal — whether breaking a bad habit, losing weight, building a business, finding a mate, or finishing a degree — but just can’t seem to complete it.
In The Final 8th: Enlist Your Inner Selves to Accomplish Your Goals (New World Library), author and therapist Bridgit Dengel Gaspard calls this demoralizing quandary when someone is so close to the finish line but just can’t seem to cross it “the final 8th” and introduces a powerful technique called voice dialogue to help readers recognize and overcome internal blocks that are preventing them from achieving their goals.
“The truth is, not every part of you wants what you think you want! Some of your inner selves are opposed to your goal,” writes Bridgit.
“We’ll explore the technique of voice dialogue to discover those different aspects of yourself and speak from their point of view. This technique can reveal and free you from the hidden internal conflict that’s blocking your ability to achieve your goal.”
The Final 8th guides readers through the process of identifying and speaking with their inner selves — such as the inner critic, perfectionist, artist, and risk-taker — to figure out which of them supports their goal and which are impeding it.
Bridgit helps readers to spot and discard the negative beliefs — like “I’m worthless” or “I’m not good enough” — that are holding them back.
The book also helps readers discover empowering parts of themselves who can offer the guidance they need, shift their perspective, reveal their buried strengths, and get them moving again toward success and fulfillment.